It’s a cliche, of course, but I really and truly never thought I’d get here. Three years ago I knew what I had to do. I’d known it for months, maybe years. But I fought myself over it, bargained internally, felt sorry for myself over the conclusion I’d come to, and kept telling myself that it was, somehow, all so unfair.
And now, looking back? Here’s how I see the me of three years ago: What a whiny moron I was!
Because, in all honestly, it wasn’t as hard as I made it out to be. The end results were better than I could have imagined. And my life is, unquestionably, just plain better.
And the best part is that I haven’t really lost anything. I still socialize with all the same people. I go to many of the same places (though certainly not as frequently, and not alone, and not with the sole thought of ‘oh good, now I can drink a shit-ton of alcohol!’).
So yes, I am truly thankful and lucky. I enjoy quiet early mornings without hangovers. I enjoy more restful sleep. And I relish remembering what I did and said the night before.
I never could have done it without this blogging community. I learned the hard way that I am not a ‘meetings’ person. But I also learned that I couldn’t do it on my own. And so I floundered for a long time, looking for a ‘middle ground’ that would work for me.
You all were it. It worked. And it still does.
Many of you are still here, and I still enjoy hearing from you. It’s great to see that you are still following the paths you laid out for yourselves. Some of my early online stalwarts are nowhere to be found. I’d like to think they are happy in sobriety and simply no longer needed the online community. That’s what I choose to believe, and I hope it’s true. Either way, I’m still here.
Thanks to all of you. You helped change a life.