I haven’t posted in a long while, but that’s only because life has gotten in the way. I’ve lost count of the number of times I started a blog post in the last month, only to be interrupted by ‘real life.’
I’m still here. I’m still (happily) not drinking. I think the count is up to 251 days now, and the non-drinking habits are becoming ever more ingrained. I will admit to some urges in the last couple weeks as the holidays have always been a time to eat, drink (alcohol) and be merry. But it always passes, and I need only remind myself of the horrible hungover mornings of old to push all thoughts of drinking out of my mind.
One of the wonderful things about sobriety is the mental space it frees up for other things. Now that it’s a habit (rather than a daily battle of wills), I can turn my focus to other things.
Right now I’m putting my focus on two other things. First, focusing on health. I’m still riding my bike to work — I’ve logged over 1,200 miles on my bike — and would like to start some yoga, too.
Second is a tougher nut to crack. I don’t feel quite right about going into details, but I’ll say that it’s an issue with a family member and their behaviors. They’ve fallen into some bad habits over the years that have gotten progressively worse, and it’s been the source of many fights for us.
I’m trying to take advantage of the mental space afforded by my sobriety to attack the problem a bit differently. The old method of ‘have two cocktails, bring up the sore subject and commence arguing’ obviously wasn’t going to work.
So instead, I’m doing some research. I think there are deep psychological issues associated with these behaviors. I’m reading up on the root causes, trying to see things from their perspective, and trying to understand how others have successfully dealt with the issue at hand.
Soon, I’ll try to have a discussion on the topic rooted in compassion, understanding, and a desire to help. I have no idea how that will go — there will likely be a lot of defensiveness. But it’s an important issue for both my well-being and theirs. And yelling about it won’t do any good. Wish me luck.
Overall, I really am feeling pretty merry and bright. I have much to be thankful for and little to complain about. I feel that the problems in my life (such as the above-referenced issue) are solvable, if addressed in the right way. Apprehensively hopeful is, perhaps, a good way to put it.
And yes, I’m really looking forward to Christmas. My son is excited, the house is decorated, and tomorrow I’ll spend most of the day baking up some old family recipes. It always makes me happy.
Happy holidays to all of you, whatever you may celebrate.